Morpheus - a man who believes in two things:
the One will eventually fulfill the prophecy, saving Zion;
a sharpened pencil leads to a sharpened mind.*
* ugh...terrible,bort.just terrible.
Yes, that wretched eyesore below is another old Starlog gag of mine (c.1999).
Behold! Battlestar Galactica toons!
These are, I think, ALL the BSG gags I did for Starlog over the years. there actually may be many more - I can’t recall every gag I did. Anyone having more-than-enough free time can browse every Starlog mag online from 1998 to 2009… please, let me know if you find a BSG-related gag that should belong here.
This post was inspired by a random Battlestar Galactica-referenced facebook post by Jim Cutler (you may recognize his voice over promos from MSNBC, Discovery Channel, et al).
Anyhoo, if your stomach can handle it, please enjoy the following:
Circa 1999, from Starlog Magazine #268 (pg.10) is one of a number of Matrix gags I did at the time. Being decades old, how Cousin Itt* came to mind when doodling Matrix cartoon ideas is a head scratcher… I might’ve heard a discussion on radio about Itt, something along the lines of “… and all he is is a gigantic sentient fur ball…” So, being completely devoid of a central nervous system, Cousin Itt would naturally be immune to the machine world.
* As I learned afterwards, and recently relearned, in the gagline I’d spelt “Cousin It” with only one “T” - coinesseurs of Addams Family will point out the correct spelling is “Cousin Itt”.
From the (poorly scanned) pages of Starlog Magazine #268 (pg. 22 to be accurate) comes a “crossing the streams” gag - where one universe merges somewhat with another.
In this case, it's Vader sporting a new life support control box in the form of Dr. Theopolis from Buck Rogers In The 25th Century (Universal, 1979-1981). And thus, Vader's trademark breathing sound now sounds a lot like Twiki.
FYI: from 1998, my pen name for my gags was "B.B.B." (Big Bad Bubba) until 2006 when my BortQ. pseudonym took over.
An old Starlog Magazine cartoon of mine - circe 1999 - a personal favorite.
When Phantom Menace hit the theatre over two decades ago (#yikes!), Darth Maul - despite not having enough screen presence than the character deserved (oh, but, by all means, let’s give more time and “dialogue” to that fuckstick JarJar! [#sarcasm]) - by gum, he was a wealth of gag material.
When there are too many space-travellin’ scoundrels, self-preservation helps thin out the herd.
Yes, Lando’s talky-talk balloon is a glaringly obvious “Highlander” parody.
Now, before you condemn me, lemme explain…
Doodled up as a Facebook comment in a post by Starlog's editor, David McDonnell, where he briefly chronicles Lucasfilm/Cartoon Network's "Clone Wars" micro-series - or shorts - made around 2003-2005.
Hence… the shorts.
On its own and without context, this doodle makes no sense. I suppose it could make an okay t-shirt print... yet, set aside the anything-Star-Wars-is-great crazies out there, who'd wear it?
My third and last Starlog *fake* magazine cover, originally posted on Facebook’s Starlog Magazine Fan Group page - before banishment.
Was a little bored over whatever weekend I posted the *fake* cover; that, and after seeing numerous other *fake* cover efforts posted by group members (as hard to look at as they were) got me in the mood to - how can I put this - DO SOMETHING WAY BETTER!
Unused *fake* #19 cover.
The Star Wars Holiday Special originally had Chewbacca as a "Life Day" religious zealot with a Ralph Kramden-like temperament... before being completely rewritten with a variety-show focus.
Ah well.
This time ‘round, I decided not to deviate from the ACTUAL cover’s layout: just replace the main photography with a new hero painting (Chewie); drench the cover lines with parody and sarcasm; and creating two additional paintings to accompany the two main cover lines.
Below is my original Facebook post:
And below is the ACTUAL Starlog #19 cover as seen on newsstands in 1979, for comparison:
Below is the ACTUAL hero artwork used in the fake Starlog #41’s cover:
And below are the two extra paintings used in the main cover lines.
Leonard Nimoy From the 1978 remake of “Invasion Of The Body Snatchers”. The red lighting “flare” - a happy accident!
Galactica’s “Athena” in body paint. Why pay for costume hire when you can just paint on a uniform?
This was my SECOND Starlog *fake* cover, originally posted on Facebook’s Starlog Magazine Fan Group page - before banishment. Created at a time when other members were posting fake covers of their own making.
For this installment, I wanted to create something meaningful for Towel Day - an annual celebration on the 25th of May, as a tribute to the late author Douglas Adams (1952-2001) and his pop-cultural masterpiece, The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy saga. Learn a little more from wikipedia here.
To quote my Facebook post:
Unused *fake* cover from Spring 1979...
A flip-of-a-coin editorial decision, the choice was either Moonraker coverage or the 1st anniversary of Hitchhiker.
Ah well.
Painting the HHG2TG-themed artwork was the easy part… the hard part was thinking up cover lines that were (a) funny and (b) shout-outs honoring Douglas Adams’ universe.
Below is my original Facebook post:
And below is the ACTUAL Starlog #22 cover sold at newsstands in 1979, for comparison:
Below is the ACTUAL painting used in the fake Starlog #22’s cover:
Can Darth Vader impede Darth Fluffybutt's natural tree destroying tendencies and save Christmas at the same time?
Originally posted on Facebook’s Starlog Magazine Fan Group page - before banishment - I created this at a time other members were posting fake covers of their own making.
For this one, I’d thought I’d throw a bit of design-ish layout knowledge into this piece, insert parody title callouts of the era (1980), and make it look like it just rolled off the presses.
Below is my original Facebook post:
And below is the ACTUAL Starlog #41 cover, for comparison:
And, if you give a hoot, here’s the ACTUAL artwork used in the fake Starlog #41’s cover:
What happens when Dr. Banner is tasked to stuff the Thanksgiving turkey... and suddenly gets a little moody.
Another inspirational quote from (Grumpy) Vader.
The first of a series of inspirational quotes from that marauder of the muse, Darth Vader.
Star Wars politics and GOP idiocracy finally align…
Alternate title: “How To Get Kicked Out Of A Facebook Group Without Really Trying”
Posted this on a Facebook Group page dedicated to Starlog Magazine fans - for which I was one and also a A-C-T-U-A-L legit contributor to the A-C-T-U-A-L Starlog Magazine for a little over 10 years.
Anyways, so somebody posted something to the group - can’t remember what - and they’d mentioned “Space Force” - not the new Trump-termed military space arm of US forces (rolls eyes as I type), but the long-forgotten 1978 TV pilot of the same name.
So, I penned and posted this doodley-boo.
Reaction was………… mixed.
Plenty of likes, hearts and laughin’ emotes… then the anonymous comments rolled in.
“This is not funny!”
“This group is not political!”
“BANISH HIM! BANISH HIM!!!” (meaning me)
So, I was banished.
Ah, well… making friends. Making friends.
If those who don’t know what FaceApp is, here’s its wikipedia link.
I think we all remember Starlog's heavily redacted editions back in the early '90s.
No?
A little birthday illustration for my Starlog editorial friend, David McDonnell.