Happy Life Day | Starlog *FAKE* Cover #19

My third and last Starlog *fake* magazine cover, originally posted on Facebook’s Starlog Magazine Fan Group page - before banishment.

Was a little bored over whatever weekend I posted the *fake* cover; that, and after seeing numerous other *fake* cover efforts posted by group members (as hard to look at as they were) got me in the mood to - how can I put this - DO SOMETHING WAY BETTER!

Unused *fake* #19 cover.
The Star Wars Holiday Special originally had Chewbacca as a "Life Day" religious zealot with a Ralph Kramden-like temperament... before being completely rewritten with a variety-show focus.
Ah well.

This time ‘round, I decided not to deviate from the ACTUAL cover’s layout: just replace the main photography with a new hero painting (Chewie); drench the cover lines with parody and sarcasm; and creating two additional paintings to accompany the two main cover lines.

Below is my original Facebook post:

And below is the ACTUAL Starlog #19 cover as seen on newsstands in 1979, for comparison:

Below is the ACTUAL hero artwork used in the fake Starlog #41’s cover:

And below are the two extra paintings used in the main cover lines.

Leonard Nimoy From the 1978 remake of “Invasion Of The Body Snatchers”. The red lighting “flare” - a happy accident!

Galactica’s “Athena” in body paint. Why pay for costume hire when you can just paint on a uniform?

 

DON'T PANIC! | Starlog *FAKE* Cover #22

This was my SECOND Starlog *fake* cover, originally posted on Facebook’s Starlog Magazine Fan Group page - before banishment. Created at a time when other members were posting fake covers of their own making.

For this installment, I wanted to create something meaningful for Towel Day - an annual celebration on the 25th of May, as a tribute to the late author Douglas Adams (1952-2001) and his pop-cultural masterpiece, The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy saga. Learn a little more from wikipedia here.

To quote my Facebook post:

Unused *fake* cover from Spring 1979...
A flip-of-a-coin editorial decision, the choice was either Moonraker coverage or the 1st anniversary of Hitchhiker.
Ah well.

Painting the HHG2TG-themed artwork was the easy part… the hard part was thinking up cover lines that were (a) funny and (b) shout-outs honoring Douglas Adams’ universe.

Below is my original Facebook post:

And below is the ACTUAL Starlog #22 cover sold at newsstands in 1979, for comparison:

Below is the ACTUAL painting used in the fake Starlog #22’s cover:

Exclusive Grumpy Vader Interview | Starlog *FAKE* Cover #41

Originally posted on Facebook’s Starlog Magazine Fan Group page - before banishment - I created this at a time other members were posting fake covers of their own making.

For this one, I’d thought I’d throw a bit of design-ish layout knowledge into this piece, insert parody title callouts of the era (1980), and make it look like it just rolled off the presses.

Below is my original Facebook post:

And below is the ACTUAL Starlog #41 cover, for comparison:

And, if you give a hoot, here’s the ACTUAL artwork used in the fake Starlog #41’s cover:

Everything's Coming Up Trunko! | Just Another No-Nothing Blog Post

A day out in NYC and a stop off at F.A.O. Schwarz back in 2011 was when I picked up this little purple guy.

His name is Trunko - just one of the characters from the Uglydoll brand. Now, I’m no impulse buyer, but Trunko met all the criteria for all my plush doll purchases:

  • He was small;

  • He was purple;

  • He was on sale!!!

Plus, because Uglydoll was doing a special U.S. Open promotion thingy, Trunko’s left arm “resembles” a tennis racket.

Afterwards, when I returned back to work in Australia, I decided I needed a useless, stupid gimmick… even if it was as simple as Trunko poking out from my carry bag.

Every morning and midday, 5 days a week, for 6 months, Trunko and I would have a large mocaccino (with soy, hold the sugar) at a nearby café.

Eventually, they honored the li’l purple racket-appendaged critter with his own “branded” beverage.

He even appeared in some of his own character-driven paintings - see below.

In this piece, I got in early to work one morning (c.late 2011) and, for no reason, just painted a close-up study of Trunko. At the time, I really just needed an excuse to be creative and then post said creative to facebook. Because I crave attention. But I don’t. But, yes, I do. But, seriously, nope. Nope. Nope.

And below was inspired by my routine mocaccino runs with Trunko… again, painted before another workday commenced.

Nowadays, Trunko only appears sporadically in my creative stuff - slight cameos and such. In the physical reality, he’s retired from café-hopping with me and now sits at my desk in my home office.

And Now You Know!

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Going All In With This "Space Force" Thing

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Alternate title: “How To Get Kicked Out Of A Facebook Group Without Really Trying”

Posted this on a Facebook Group page dedicated to Starlog Magazine fans - for which I was one and also a A-C-T-U-A-L legit contributor to the A-C-T-U-A-L Starlog Magazine for a little over 10 years.

Anyways, so somebody posted something to the group - can’t remember what - and they’d mentioned “Space Force” - not the new Trump-termed military space arm of US forces (rolls eyes as I type), but the long-forgotten 1978 TV pilot of the same name.

So, I penned and posted this doodley-boo.

Reaction was………… mixed.

Plenty of likes, hearts and laughin’ emotes… then the anonymous comments rolled in.

“This is not funny!”

“This group is not political!”

“BANISH HIM! BANISH HIM!!!” (meaning me)

So, I was banished.

Ah, well… making friends. Making friends.

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1800 WHAT-A-DOPE

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Took a week off work - not to recharge batteries, take a beach vacation, or visit my folks - just, well… because! Heck, I’d accrued so many holiday leave days, the company sorta demanded I start using ‘em.

And this is how I announced it to my work colleagues.

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How To Luv A Vinyl Album Too Much By Wearing Out The L.P.'s Grooves

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Brain fart cartoon: inspired by a Facebook group post, lauding over James Horner’s symphonic score for Star Trek III: The Search For Spock.

I was, maybe, 15 when I finally held the soundtrack album in my hands - circa January ‘85(?) - vaguely remember it took a number of months to acquire the thing. FYI: wasn’t really into pop/rock muzak in my teens (yup, I was a nerd… a lonely, lonely greasy nerd).

Taking John Williams-anything out of the equation, from the remaining soundtrack albums in my (then) collection, STIII:TSFS was my absolute favorite - almost every weekend, much to the family’s chagrin, I’d fire up the turntable and annoy everyone.

And thus, this exaggerated toon.

#makingfriends

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Occupied French Vanilla, Oreos and Citrus Surprises | Another Mrs. Berry Birthday Doodle

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Once a year, I take up a pencil and draw up something speeshülly Germanian for the mother of my fan/friend in Nutley, NJ. To understand WHY I do this, it’s briefly explained it here.

Originally doodled May 18, 2013.

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Happy Dreikäsehoch! | Another Mrs. Berry Birthday Doodle

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Every May, going back to 2010, I cobble together a German-themed birthday illo for the mother of my fan/friend in New Jersey. Nope, they’re not German — but, they did take me to a German-themed restaurant in Hoboken for Mrs. Berry’s birthday get-together in 2009.

And that’s the (in)joke. Ahh, I guess you had to be there.

If you were wondering, “Happy Dreikäsehoch” translates to Three Cheese High.

Cheese has nothing to do with anything with relation to the person, the day, or the theme… I just needed a long, complicated, funny-sounding German-ish word (“Dreikäsehoch”) and this one fit the bill.

That’s supposed to be me (Bort) on the left. The sentient purple plush critter on the right is "Trunko”, an Ugly Dolls character I picked up at FAO Schwarz with Mrs. Berry in 2011… but I digress…

At left: this is the illustration without the “Happy Dreikäsehoch” titles. Yes, that’s THREE cheese slabs stacked in the background (re:translation).

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